Being still is hard. Harder than I could have ever imagined and harder than anybody has ever made it seem. I say this because I am currently in a season where it is PLAIN and CLEAR that God wants me to practice stillness and I’d be lying if I said it was the least bit comfortable. In fact, it has been the most uncomfortable skill to practice in my faith walk thus far. For someone who is nicknamed “Ms. busybody”, this “being still” and being ok with not constantly being on the move is a pretty hard skill to master.
Thinking back to when I was a teen, I realize that I was never really taught how to be still. It was always portrayed to me early on that I needed to always be busy doing something productive. Whether it was working on something, or simply reading a book, my mind needed to be going. Now, it makes sense that while God wants me to cease striving and cease busying myself, so that I can tune into Him completely, I find myself struggling to do so.
For so long I realize that I have allowed the busyness in my life to define me and give me value and God is tearing down that facade, oh so abruptly (along with so many others). In this place of stillness I am being reminded that my true identity is not found in how busy I can be or how many tasks I can check off my to-do list by the end of the day. It is, however, found in none other than God/Abba Father Himself and seasons and moments of stillness are meant to give us that opportunity to refocus and adjust our priorities. They are meant to remind us of who we are and allow God to teach us some new things while also reminding us of what’s most important: our intimacy with Him.
That being said, God has been slowly but surely revealing to me the need and beauty in being still. While most people may see it as being idle, i’m learning that it is actually the complete opposite. Being still in this season for me is actually me producing more important spiritual things by connecting more closely with God. It is me also making the necessary space to breathe, heal, and just get myself completely aligned spirtually.
So, while I may very well be uncomfortable in this place of stillness (because it really isn’t an easy skill to master), I am learning to appreciate the time I have been given to properly practice this skill. I am also learning the importance of being mentally present and showing up for whatever lesson I am to learn while God has my uninterrupted attention.